sayonara..2007..

2007 engraved some of the most painful memories of my life..
from a wedding planning in March..to a resolution of no wedding in November..
everyday i kept thinking..should i let go?
and every time i did..my little heart says..keep praying..God is listening..
and every time i did..tears roll..
coz every time i did..i see the beauty of love..

i don't want this love to go to waste..
so i keep praying..i keep hoping God would answer my prayers..
but then again..we are just humans..
and God has plans for each and every one of us..
i always pray that God would count my prayers in His plan for me..
huhuh..sounds lame..but that's what i always hoped for..

i tried to smile..i tried to laugh..
but in the end of the day i'm filled with tears..
so God please help me through the coming year..
as You had help me in the past..

"kasih sayang tiada batasan..tapi kasih sayang yang tiada batasan tu lebih bermakna jika diberikan kepada seorang yg sangat istimewa.."

quick updates!

this one's gonna be a hell long post..hahah..too much too look back actually..but i'll start from where i've left off okay...

17th September 2007

I received the report for duty letter from JPA..my reporting date would be on 27th September 2007, 8:00am, Auditorium Jabatan Perdana Menteri..notice how much time i've left to do my medical check-up and all? luckily my mom's a nurse..so i get to settle my medical check-up and reports in 4 days...

27th September 2007

though i've asked yam to show me the way to Putrajaya..i was still unsure of my way till i arrived there..and guess what..the whole place was full of cars..what's annoying was a lot of the cars there had people inside..i guess all those officers reporting for duty had family members waiting for them..but please la..that place was damned packed..those people in the car apela salahnye move along and wait somewhere else..its not like you can see them reporting for duty there..adehlaa..mcm first day skolah la pulak..parents duk tunggu2..aku gak yang terkial-kial gi lapor diri sensorang..dahla lambat psl xde tempat parking..inconsiderate!! fortunately the registration line was still long when i arrived at the hall..no harm done..

in total there were about 120 IT officers reporting for duty that day..we had seminar for half of the day..supposed we should be attending a week's course..but then it was fasting month..it would be tiring for them and us..during the seminar..the speaker told us that about 20 of us will be placed under the Kementerian Perumahan dan Kerajaan Tempatan and will be sent to rural areas..not so surprisingly..i was one of them..(i had a gut feeling when the speaker told us about it..instinct? hmmmm..)

after the seminar..i got myself a friend..and we went to the kementerian to report for duty together..when we arrived..there were 2 other officers there..th rest of the officers showed up the next day..

28th September 2007

my first day at work at kementerian perumahan & kerajaan tempatan..get to know the rest of the officers..and received the good news..no leave for the first working month..meaning..no Hari Raya holiday??!!..it was too late to buy bus ticket or train ticket..all sold out since the last week..i had to drive home which was much to the objection of my parents..but i insist on driving home..or i wont come back for Hari Raya..hahah..they had to give in..

13th October 2007

It was Hari Raya..i arrived home on hari raya eve..fortunately i was saved from driving home in the morning of Hari Raya coz my mom's friend's son was to accompany me driving that evening..
on the third day of Hari Raya..while my family were still celebrating..i had to pack and go back to kl..what a bum..

16th October 2007

back in the office that seemed to be empty..except for us..the IT officers..we filled up the hellish boring days with decorating the place for Hari Raya makan-makan..

22nd October 2007

Hari Raya makan-makan day at JKT KPKT..our department made the simplest dish of all..rojak buah..oh..i forgot to mention..my cousin also work here..but that day was the first day i've seen him at the office..huhu..his department brought lontong..

25th October 2007

Hari Raya makan-makan day with the minister of KPKT..quite a vast variety of food..took my time to have a go at everything..yum yum..

27th October 2007

Finally our posting has been confirmed..i got my first choice..Majlis Daerah Kinta Barat, Batu Gajah..about half an hour from my family house..we got all our letters..and we had a meeting with TKP I and Datin KP JKT KPKT..but i'm not sure when..forgot already..

31st October 2007

time to say goodbye to my friends..as we embark on the journey to our new posting..we also received a box of office stationeries..in case the Majlis poeple don't want to provide for the Kementerian people..ahakss..

5th November 2007

Reporting for duty at Majlis Daerah Kinta Barat..surprisingly they have been analyzing my details right to where and when i was born from my IC number..not really flattered but...eek!

bureaucracy matters..

fuhh..i manage to leave this poor blog all alone for the past few months...hmm..while currently i am in rage now with the bureaucracy of the local governments of this state..what is the matter with an IT Officer configuring a modem by herself..its not like i'm a damn know-nothinger..calling the TM staff will take at least 48hrs..and we need the internet connection to stay ahead of the others..hello? what's the use of having IT staff in the local governments if they can't be used to even configure a damn modem? still require the TM Net staff to come and do the service report and everything..what the f?? is this how the local government treats their human resources? by denying them their ability and make them stick through all those damn silly procedures? is this how the local government going to advance for the next few years? i really doubt it..

thinking back..i'd rather work in the private sector than with the government..but again thinking..working with the government...you gain all kinds of benefits..but in return you're just like a robot..especially in local-governments..if you're at lower-level..nobody's gonna even look at your opinion no matter how sensible it is..no matter how hot the meeting room is..the decision is still in the hands the higher-ups..

don't they realize the local private sector is far far far far ahead than the local government? to those government spy reading this ..think about it..i don't mind being sacked for this..but if you sack me..you are sacking probably one of the most valuable government servant in the future..i serve the government because i want to see the government change..and i want to be among the people who makes the local government be ahead of others..not just for the benefits i gain..

have you ever wonder?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infantry as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why is it called building when it is already built?
If a book about failures sells, is it a success ?
If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

have you ever wonder what the answers would be?.. huhu..

Rahsia Hati..huhu..secrets..secrets..

This song didn't suit me much before..but it really does now..thanx to the one who gave it to me three years ago..its because of him..this song became my life now..its on the playlist..enjoy..

Waktu terus berlalu tanpa kusadari
Yang ada hanya aku dan kenangan
Masih teringat jelas
Senyum terakhir yang kau beri untukku
Tak pernah ku mencoba
Dan tak ingin ku mengisi hatiku
Dengan cinta yang lain
Kan ku biarkan ruang hampa didalam hidupku
Bila aku harus mencintai dan berbagi hati
Itu hanya denganmu
Namun bila... kuharus tanpamu
Akan tetap kuarungi hidup tanpa bercinta
Hooo... hanya dirimu yang pernah
Tenangkan ku dalam pelukmu
Saat kumenangis
Bila aku harus mencintai dan berbagi hati
Itu hanya denganmu
Namun bila... kuharus tanpamu
Akan tetap kuarungi hidup tanpa cinta...
Bila aku harus mencintai dan berbagi hati
Itu hanya denganmu
Dan bila kuharus tanpamu
Akan tetap kuarungi hidup tanpa bercinta
Tak pernah ku mencoba
Dan tak ingin ku mengisi hatiku

fuhh..can't believe i've been doing this all day

i've finally added an mp3 playlist on the sidebar..i've been experimenting with a few..for example..there's one from here..

the setup is very simple..first you create an account..then you can start creating your playlists..and yes..you can have several of them..you can browse available mp3 from its search engine..or provide the link to your mp3..you can arrange your mp3s according to your favourite order..and then with just the click buttons..you can get the codes that can paste into your myspace, friendster profile, blog etc..but the down side is..the player is not customizable enough for me..i need the player's height and width to be customizable to make it fit on the side bar..

so i made a journey to my friend's blog and saw his player..nice..his player came from here..hehe..tenkiu khairie..

it is also available for other types of media..in fact you can have all media in one player..fufufu..but mp3 player is enuff for me at the moment..although its licensed..it is free for noncommercial use..i hope i'm using it here noncommercially..hehe..the setup is simple too..all you have to do is download the player .swf and its script (sfwobject.js)..put them on your site..or wherever you host your files online..and generate the embed code here..
easy!..and its very customizable..huhu..

if you wanna make a background music for your site..just use the following code..

<embed src="yourmusicfile.mp3" width="144" height="74" type="audio/mpeg" autostart="false" loop="false" bgcolor="white">
</embed>

just increase the width and height so that your site visitor can use the control so they can stop the music if its not to their liking..

hmm..a delicious laksa is waiting for me downstairs..daa..

Life is like a Boat - Rie Fu (Bleach)

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin' and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you thru another day

Tookude iki wo shiteru toumei ni nattamitai
(Breathing in the distance as if I've become transparent)
Kurayami ni omoe takedo mekaku shisarete tadake
(It seemed to be the dark, but I was merely blindfolded)

Inori wo sasagete atarashii hi wo matsu
(I offer my prayers and wait for a new day)
Azayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made
( To the end of the sea that shines vividly)

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

Hito no kokoro wa utsuri yuku nukedashita kunaru
(People's hearts move and want to slip out)
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de fune wo tsureteku
( The moon in its new cycle brings along boats again)

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I.... can see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

Tabi wa mada tsudzuiteku odayakana hi mo
(The journey is still continuing, on the calm days, too)
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de fune wo terashidasu
( The moon in its new cycle begins to shine on boats again)

Inori wo sasagete atarashii hi wo matsu
(I offer my prayers and wait for a new day)
Azayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made
( To the end of the sea that shines vividly)

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

Unmei no fune wo kogi
(Rowing the boat of destiny)
nami wa tsugi kara tsugi e to
(The waves assault us)
Watashitachi wo osou kedo
(One after the next)
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne
(But that's a wonderful journey, too)
Dore mo suteki na tabi ne
(Any one of them is a wonderful journey)