another day went by..

it has been months since i actually post something in this blog..oh my..i have lots n lots to share with the people out there but i just don't have the time..

about my job..well its not that hectic..but then i always find myself staying back at the office day by day finishing my actual job..during the working hours..i had to settle ad-hoc jobs..that usually come from the higher ups..and lots a pc problem..oh..an a little procrastination..haha..oooh..but those ad-hoc stuff really ticks me of at times..

take today for example..i had to sit down all day looking at those tables wondering how the vote book contents got changed even though the purchase have not been made?? queries after queries..all because they need to get the vote out by tomorrow to buy the lucky draw prizes..the prizes are to be given away by the MB on the 6th..this thursday..and the order came at 8:15..i didn't get to sit on my chair yet that time..it sux..and it really made me boiled when they told me at 5:30pm..mind you..5:30pm..that the prize giving ceremony on that day was cancelled..not to mention i have to deal with over 5000 names for a lucky draw..adeilaa..and i have unfinished reports to settle that are long overdue..haih

but then that's life la..everyday i'm faced with pc problems..epbt problems..those are actually minor problems..oh darn..i forgot about the new server room hardware n stuff to be submitted to the contractor..and still i'm thinking whether to go with fibre optic backbone or just cat6?? aiyaa..and i am everything about IT here..i'm an officer!! but yet i don't even have a secretary..basically i'm doing everything on my own..from photocopying to maintaining the system..isk isk..help..help..aiya..no can do la...chaiyok nisya-chan!! you can do it..

one other thing i just realize this few days..i want to change..for the better.. =) .. i'm going to be 25 soon..and i hope it can be the start of the change in my life..enuff worrying..enuff mourning..enuff chasing men..(haha)..i just wanna enjoy life as it is..pls pray for me guys..luv y'all..

It's only life - Kate Voegele

just the song for me..hahaha

Tears are forming in your eyes,
a storm is warning in the skies,
the end of the world it seems,
you bend down and you fall on your knees,
well get back on your feet ,yeah,
don't look away, don't run away,
baby it's only life,
don't lose your faith,don't run away,
it's only life.
you were always playing hard,
never could let down your guard,
you can't win, if you never give in,
to that voice within, saying pick up your chin,
baby let go of it , yeah,
don't look away, don't run away ,
baby, it's only life.
don't lose your faith, don't run away,
baby it's only life.(repeat)
take your hesitance, and your self defense,
leave them behind, it's only life,
don't be so afraid of facing every day,
just take your time, it's only life,
i'll be your stepping stone, don't be so alone,
just hold on tight,it's only life,
oh..don't look away, don't run away,
baby it's only life,
don't lose your faith, don't run away, baby, it's only life (repeat),
it's only life, it's only life,
don't look away...

Tegar - Rossa

Tergoda aku 'tuk berfikir
dia yang tercinta
mengapa telah lama tak nampak
dirimu disini

jangankan inginku tersenyum
tak ada ghairah
ku ingin slalu bersamamu

kini kuresah
diriku lemah tanpamu.. ohh

gapai semua jemariku
rangkul aku dalam bahagiamu
ku ingin bersama berdua selamanya

jika ku buka mata ini
ku ingin selalu ada dirimu
dalam kelemahan hati ini
bersama mu aku tegar

new on the playlist too..

Maafkan - Dygta

Kasih maafkan aku
Tiada inginku melukaimu
Dan kini kau tinggalkan aku

Hanya dlm hatiku
Ku ungkap semua penyesalan aku
Kini ku ingin disisimu

Bila ku masih dihatimu
Simpan cintaku
Kembali la untuk ku
Kuingin selalu disisimu
Maafkanlah aku
Kasih

OOh....

new on the playlist..

Girl Language a.k.a MY language

When i dont call you
[ Its because im waiting for you to
call me ]

When i walk away from you mad
[ Follow me ]

When i stare at your mouth
[ Kiss me ]

When i push you or hit you
[ Grab me and dont let go ]

When i start cussing at you
[ Kiss me and tell me you love me]

When im quiet
[ Ask me whats wrong/Or mess with me. ]

When i ignore you
[ Give me your attention ]

When i pull away
[ Pull me back ]

When you see me at my worst
[ Tell me im beautiful ]

When you see me start crying
[ Hold me and tell me everything will
be alright ]

When you see me walking
[ Sneak up and hug my waist from
behind ]

When im scared
[ Protect me ]

When i lay my head on your shoulder
[ Tilt my head up and kiss me ]

When i tease you
[ Tease me back and make me laugh ]

When i dont answer for a long time
[ reassure me that everything is okay ]

When i look at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]

When i say that i like you
[ I really do more than you could
understand ]

When i grab at your hands
[ Hold mine and play with my fingers ]

When i bump into you
[ bump into me back and make me laugh ]

When i tell you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When i look at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until i do ]

When i miss you
[ im hurting inside ]

When you break my heart
[the pain never really goes away ]

When i say its over
[ i still want you to be mine ]

lifeless kah..isk..lifeless kut..

the starting of this year..aih..really annoys me..but somehow..i find it amusing when i could describe my feelings with songs..so i'm gonna put it chronologically in songs..huhuh..
yeah..i'm the music in me..mwe heh heh heh

first week 2008
April Matson - Will you remember me
Element-Rahasia Hati

2nd week 2008 - 5th week 2008
Letto - Ruang Rindu
Debby Boone - You Light Up My Life

6th week 2008 - now
Spider - Bila Nak Saksi
April Matson - Will you remember me

aiyaa..so down..so desperate to cheer myself..aiyaa..hate this feeling..kenape..kenape..kenape...

You Light Up My Life - Debby Boone

So many nights I sit by my window
Waiting for someone to sing me his song
So many dreams I kept deep inside me
Alone in the dark but now
You've come along

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water
Could it be finally I'm turning for home?
Finally, a chance to say hey,
I love You
Never again to be all alone

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song

It can't be wrong
When it feels so right
'Cause You
You light up my life

temporary playlist up..

elloww..i recently uploaded a temporary playlist from e snips..not sure whether its gonna be permanent or not..we'll see for the next few months..ahaks..

the playlist will contain all of the song lyrics that i've posted so far..most of them that i'll call my current heart songs..huhu..ya know..those songs you have in your heads from time to time..depending on what you feel about when you hear those songs..for me..the songs really mean something to me..currently..hence the name..'current heart songs'..huhu..merepek je aku ni..

take your time to enjoy some of the songs that i'm sharing..thanks for visiting!

Bila Nak Saksi - Spider

Wajah mu kerap ku mimpi
Wajah mu sering ku puja
Buatku terasa sepi
Kala ku bukakan mata

Kau masih belum pun ku punya
Rinduku masih kau tak peka

Cintamu kerap ku mimpi
Cintamu sering ku damba
Buatku terasa sedih
kala ku bukakan mata

Kau masih belum pun ku dakap
Rinduku masih kau tak singkap

Bila nak saksi
Kau datang terkulai
Bila nak saksi
Kau datang membelai
Bila nak saksi
Cintaku sampai

Dirimu kerap ku mimpi
Dirimu sering ku khayal
Aku angan-angankan
Kau dapat bersama

Nyatakan cinta yang terpendam
Membina istana tersergam

Bila nak saksi
Kau datang terkulai
Bila nak saksi
Kau datang membelai
Bila nak saksi
Cintaku sampai

Kau masih belum pun ku punya
Rinduku masih kau tak peka

Bila nak saksi
Kau datang terkulai
Bila nak saksi
Kau datang membelai
Bila nak saksi
Cintaku sampai
Bila nak saksi
Cintamu kugapai

Dirimu kerap ku mimpi
Dirimu sering ku khayal
Aku angan-angankan

its on my playlist..so..enjoy! =)

True Love - from shad's post

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a.m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an
appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him look at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.


I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer' s Disease .

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are? "

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Girl Facts vs. Guy Facts

hmm..wonder if they're true?

Girl Facts

when you catch a girl glancing at you,
she wants you to look back and smile

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you
she wants you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart
she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind..

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are playing games

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever

When a girl says she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more than that

When a girl is mean to you after a break-up
she wants you back, but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever

Guy Facts

When a guy calls you,
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do

When your laying your head on a guy's chest,
he has the world

When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday,
he is in love

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you,
he's with you till your gone

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

Ruang Rindu by Letto

Di daun yang ikut mengalir lembut
Terbawa sungai ke ujung mata
Dan aku mulai takut terbawa cinta
Menghirup rindu yang sesakkan dada
Jalanku hampa dan kusentuh dia
Terasa hangat oh didalam hati
Kupegang erat dan kuhalangi waktu
Tak urung jua kulihatnya pergi
Tak pernah kuragu dan slalu kuingat
Kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat
Ku saat itu takut mencari makna
Tumbuhkan rasa yg sesakkan dada

Chorus 2x:
Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja
Semua kutrima apa adanya
Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam
Di ruang rindu kita bertemu

Bertemu

Kisah rumput dan orang yang disayangi

Pada suatu pagi di satu sekolah menengah, ada seorang pelajar bertanya pada seorang guru yang sedang mengajar. Ketika itu, guru tersebut sedang menyentuh mengenai kasih dan sayang secara am. Dialog di antara pelajar dan guru tersebut berbunyi begini :

Pelajar : Cikgu, macam mana kita nak pilih seseorang yang terbaik sebagai orang paling kita sayang?. Macam mana juga kasih sayang itu nak berkekalan?

Cikgu : Oh, awak nak tahu ke?.Emmm...baiklah, sekarang kamu buat apa yang saya suruh. Ikut je ye...mungkin kamu akan dapat apa jawapannya.

Pelajar : Baiklah...apa yang saya harus buat?

Cikgu : Kamu pergi ke padang sekolah yang berada di luar kelas sekarang juga. Kamu berjalan di atas rumput di situ dan sambil memandang rumput di depan kamu, pilih mana yang PALING
cantik tanpa menoleh ke belakang lagi walaupun sekali. Dan kamu petiklah rumput yang PALING cantik yang berada di depan kamu tersebut dan selepas itu bawa balik ke kelas.

Pelajar : Ok. Saya pergi sekarang dan buat apa yang cikgu suruh.

Apabila pelajar tersebut balik semula ke kelas, tiada pun rumput yang berada di tangannya. Maka cikgu pun bertanya kepada pelajar tersebut.

Cikgu : Mana rumput yang cikgu suruh petik?

Pelajar : Oh, tadi saya berjalan di atas rumput dan sambil memandang rumput yang berada di situ, saya carilah rumput yang paling cantik. Memang ada banyak yang cantik tapi cikgu kata petik yang paling cantik maka saya pun terus berjalan ke depan sambil mencari yang paling cantik tanpa menoleh ke belakang lagi. Tapi sampai di penghujung padang , saya tak jumpa pun yang paling cantik. Mungkin ada di antara yang di belakang saya sebelum itu tapi dah cikgu cakap tak boleh menoleh ke belakang semula, jadi tiadalah rumput yang saya boleh petik.

Cikgu : Ya, itulah jawapannya. Maknanya, apabila kita telah berjumpa dengan seseorang yang kita sayang, janganlah kita hendak mencari lagi yang lebih baik daripada itu. Kita patut hargai orang yang berada di depan kita sebaik-baiknya. Janganlah kita menoleh ke belakang lagi kerana yang berlaku tetap dah berlaku. Dan semoga yang berlalu tidak lagi berulang. Jika kita berselisih faham dengan orang yang kita sayang itu, kita boleh perbetulkan keadaan dan cuba teruskan perhubungan tersebut walaupun banyak perkara yang menggugat perhubungan tersebut. Dan ingatlah orang yang kita sayang itulah kita jumpa paling cantik dan paling baik
pada MULAnya walaupun nak ikutkan banyak lagi yang cantik dan baik seperti rumput tadi. KECUALILAH jika perhubungan tersebut tak boleh diselamatkan lagi, maka barulah kita
mulakan sekali lagi.

Maka sayangilah orang yang berada di depan kita dengan tulus dan ikhlas.

alone..unappreciated..

when i love..i love deep..i regret that i'm cheap to the one i loved..and i regret even more when he didn't appreciate me a bit..just because..
i stopped him from going to clubs..
i stopped him from becoming friends with gay..
i stopped him from drinking..
i stopped him from becoming friends with people whom i think will not bring him any good..
i always call him just to make sure he didn't leave his prayers..
i always call him to make sure he's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing..
he says i'm controlling him..

i did control him..why?

he was a a very bright kid who was very much loved in his family..
his father wasn't a fair person..
so his mother raised him and his sisters by herself..
he used to be a very good son..
he used to pray at the mosque near his house every day..

his sister told me he hates his father..
and now he's becoming every bit like his father..
he said it was all because of me..
because i didn't let him go..

how could i? i loved him to bits..i loved everything he was before..how could i let him go if he keeps doing what he shouldn't do??

i'm asking this to the girls out there..yang ada maruah..not the kinds that bitch around with anyone she likes..would you let someone you love be like that? would you just leave him when he turned bad? true you have to love yourself..true you have to save yourself from being hurt..but it just happens that i love this person more than i love myself..

i didn't want to let him go..i feel bad leaving him into being what he shouldn't be

to those people who made him like that..be ashamed of you've done..kite umat akhir zaman..x boleh ke tinggalkan benda2 yang betul2 haram? tak takut ke hari akhirat? yang lelaki kenapa nak jadi perempuan? kenapa nak goda lelaki-lelaki yang asalnye baik? tak tahu dosa?
thanx to you all..you increase the number of people that will inhibit neraka jahannam..

bersuka ria ada batasnye..nak enjoy life ada batasnye..kalo xde batas elok jadi binatang aje..i'm not saying i'm so righteous..i did wrong things to..but when it comes to halal n haram stuff..its never an option..i never heard that we Muslims can choose to dress like / be a woman even if we're born as a man or vice versa..i never heard that we Muslims can drink beer..itu semua terang-terang haram..yakin ke kite sempat bertaubat? bayangkan kalo kite mati masa tengah buat tu sumer? that does not include the haram things we did with our bf/gf..segelintir boleh cakap "ah..aku takkan menyesal masuk neraka.." akhirat nanti..org yg berkata macam tu la yang paling menyesal sekali..

this is a reminder..pada kita ummat akhir zaman..and for myself..cubala bataskan diri korang dari buat benda2 yang x berfaedah..notice i said nothing to couples? ..i've been there, done that..its a sin..and alangkah bagusnye kalo dapat jadi suami isteri and dapat taubat sesama atas perbuatan sebelum kawen tu..but what if it doesn't end with marriage?

let's just say..i'm not up to it anymore..i regret that i was born in this time..even if its a peaceful Muslim country..tp umatnye rosak teruk..including me..

when all this happened to me..i wish this country practice 'hukum hudud'..i might have been saved..and he might remain who he was..

this person whom i love so much..